


Shovel Talks

by Phandancee74



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: M/M, Shovel Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-19 05:54:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11891418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phandancee74/pseuds/Phandancee74
Summary: If Barry Allen weren't as amazing as he is, Leonard Snart would never have put up with so many shovel talks. At least some of them are funny.





	Shovel Talks

Len was given seventeen shovel talks when he and Barry started dating, including one by Gideon, who told Snart that he should be very careful because they had access to information across many timelines, and it would be very easy to dump him in any era they saw fit should he take any actions that negatively affected their creator.

By the end of the talks, which occurred well over a year after they’d been dating, he’d decided to rank them, and if asked he would happily tell you the top three best and most unusual ones he’d received. 

His third favorite was from Mick. _His own husband_. It was the first shovel talk he got and definitely the most surprising, though not the one with the most graphic threats, that record was held by Lyla and the Arrow who had teamed up to show him their combined skills in torture and cover ups on dummies dressed as Captain Cold. 

_____________________________________________________________________

Mick sat him down one night, two weeks after they’d both started dating Barry, to have a chat. It wasn’t unusual, they’d had a third in the past and they liked to check in with each other, especially at the beginning of any new relationship, to make sure they were both feeling good about everything. So while Len was expecting a heart to heart he wasn’t expecting a heat gun to the chest. 

“What’s up Mick?” Len asked when his husband went from smiling to glaring in a heartbeat. 

“I just wanted to talk about you dating Barry.”

“We’re both dating Barry, Mick. As long as that’s still what you want.” 

“Course it is.” Mick growled. “But this ain’t about me. I need to know you’re serious about the kid. That you aren’t gonna mess this one up.”

Len frowned. “Are you . . . giving me the shovel talk?” 

“Someone needs to. That kid is too good for either of us and I need to make sure we both know it. I already gave myself the talk this morning. I know where I stand. If I mess this up, I know what the consequences will be.”

Len rolled his eyes. He could picture it. Mick took relationships very seriously and apparently this one even more so. “I’m serious about the Kid, Mick. I want to be good for him as much as you do.”

“Good.” Mick huffed. “Because if you mess this up for any of us I’ll divorce you and sic my ex-husband on you. And he’s a real piece of work.”  
_____________________________________________________________________

Sara’s shovel talk was his second favorite because it happened several times and each time, the amount she was on his side changed.

The first time Sara pulled him aside was after their fourth mission together as Legends, and it was more of a courtesy than a shovel talk. 

“Look Snart. We're friends, mostly. But that doesn’t mean I’ll help you if you break The Flash’s heart. I don’t know him personally, but he’s literally loved by all the heroes and at least half his villains. If you were dating The Arrow it’d be a different story. But The Flash? You mess this up and even Rip won’t be able to help you.” Too true. Len remembered Gideon putting him in lockdown during their shovel talk, and for several hours afterwards to prove a point. Rip would be utterly useless to him. 

A few weeks later Sara handed him a beer and gave it another shot.“We’ve been through a lot together Snart. I wanted to change my stance on you dating the Flash. You’re a good-ish guy and I’d be willing to take down three heroes for you in the inevitable fight, if you ever break his heart. But only one if you’re being a real jerk about it.”

After the Legends helped Team Flash and Team Arrow fight off the Dominators, and Len returned from the Oculus and a second life of crime she pulled him aside a third time, looking much less friendly than she ever had before.“I met him. The Flash. I’ve changed my stance again, Snart. If you do anything to that Kid ever again I will unleash the full force of the League of Assassins on you. Also, Nyssa met him so if you do anything stupid just come to me first, you don’t even want to know what she’d do to you.”

After her second shovel talk Len thought it reasonable to ask if Sara, or anyone on the Legends, had ever given Mick the same treatment. “Mick?” She responded with a laugh. “Didn’t you hear? He gave himself the shovel talk when you all started out. We figure he’s got it handled.” Len appreciated, not for the first time, what a genius his husband was. 

_____________________________________________________________________

But Len’s favorite shovel talk was the one given to him by Barry’s former least favorite coworker, Julian Albert. This one seemed very thought out, Julian waited until Barry had left to stop a mugging and then quickly pulled out a few supplies. 

“Hold this shovel.”

Len took the shovel in surprise. Out of all of them, this was the most literal shovel talk he’d been given. 

“This is a very special shovel, Cold.” Julian said condescendingly. “Do you know what’s so important about it?”

Len took a moment and looked it over. He didn’t see anything unusual about it. He checked it thoroughly and though he was annoyed that he’d missed whatever was so crucial about it he handed it back to Julian and shook his head.

Julian took it in gloved hands and placed it in a bag he had on his desk. 

“If you ever hurt Allen this will be the first piece of evidence in your trial. Honestly, I can still only somewhat stand him and if you break his heart he will be unbearable and I will be forced to murder him. However I would fare terribly in prison and it really would be your fault, so you’ll just have to do my time.”

Len actually chuckled. This talk topped them all.


End file.
